Thursday, January 03, 2013

A Will to Live


He sat on the beach watching the waves flatten out against the sand. three years ago, it would have sparked a weave of thoughts. But now as he observed the routine coast guard vessel stretching towards the aging horizon he knew such would never happen again. It was the time of the day when day gives way to night and the trumpets marking the end of day shift were sounded. Docks all over the country were abandoned and then refurbished with new men as the older ones returned to their wives and children. He too got up and walked towards the house spotting her silhoutte at the window.

As he clambered up the steps to the second floor he met one of the young female nurses. She smiled to which he curtly nodded. He knew she was training to be a doctor. This was just handy cash.
 
On the second floor he knocked before entering the room knowing full well there would be no answer. There never was. She was still sitting by the window admiring the same view as she had been for the past three years. Or was it different? Or wasn’t it? The sea; It could drown the sorrows of the whole world without even as so much as flinching. As he drowned himself into the curls of her hair images from the past revved up to knock him shackling him on the spot. They succeeded as always for a few moments later he was still standing there. He couldn’t help admiring her long black hair as it neatly draped her shoulders smouldering any sign of the wounds that had long since denied them sanity. It was almost as if they werent there. The thought though was enough to guillotine both of their senses. One literarily and one metaphorically. He walked to her patting her shoulder and whispering into her ear a distinctly incorrigible you are beautiful. She laughed not because she couldn’t hear or because she couldn't make sense of it but because the vibrations reached her and tickled her funny bone.
 
He picked up one of the storybooks lying on the table settling onto the bed beside her and started reading it to her. By the end of it a tear had swelled up in his right eye. He shut his eyes tight as if to cut out the pain. It didn't serve the purpose but thankfully, the tear was killed before it could be bred. He picked her up delicately and neatly perched her on the bed. He then went on to tickle her feet which made her laugh involuntarily, momentarily. Its moments like these that make everything worthwhile. Life in a so called abyss.

She sat there peacefully her eyes settled on him. He looked back at her right in the eyes, pain grouching him inside, begging solace from the only one he had ever loved from the only form of life still inhabiting her as they smiled back at him. It was her eyes that wiled him along unfamiliar territory. The estate of near death and yet not quite so alive. He walked to the corner of the room and switched on the radio. Aah music. Its companionship is unmatched. At the merry tone that rang in the room he danced as they had used to a long, long time ago. He danced to her and held her hand going on one knee and whispering, care to dance my lady?

 Her eyes sparkled as he expertly pulled and pushed her around doing what her limbs and mind should have done for her. The neurologists had been right. She could never have made a self controlled voluntary action of such degree. What they didn’t know, was that he would do it for her. And so they danced, hand in hand living away death.