Tuesday, June 02, 2009


She was 19. He was 23. He was standing there in front of her, his mind racing, his gothic self fuming. This had never happened before. It could not happen. He was in control. He was in control of his emotions, his future he told himself. He had done this before, to many beings and even to the same girl and yet somehow, he found himself questioning his priorities, the morals he had followed for the past ten years without derision. The naked woman no, the naked girl lying in front of him was no longer the object of speculation of his desire. She no longer appealed to him. He could do anything he wanted to do, anything at all, anything his deepest heart blades willed him too. And he could not even face her. He turned around, wobbly and shaken. How could this be happening? How could everything that had mattered to him for so long go against him? The stars on his chest and on his knees, the stars he had been so proud of the four stars that flaunted his mafia status had lost their plea. For the first time in nine years the night of 17th December flashed in his mind. It had been a cold summer night. He had witnessed his mother being killed by his father. And with the same dagger he had killed the demon of the man. He had thrust it in his heart with all his might and it had worked. That night his father’s friends whom he had betrayed, impressed by his endeavor had awarded him the stars. The blood on his hand was still fresh, his wounds still salting and his memory still raw. Thinking of his father infuriated him. He had been weak and so he had been slain by his own son. He wasn’t weak. He wasn’t like his father. He was strong. He could not be weak. He was next in line for the throne. He would not allow it. Such an act of immorality, of unmanliness would not go unnoticed and he did not intend to lose nine years of his hard work, of meticulous planning to a woman. He turned ready to face her, to uncurtain every realm of her body to explore her every facet, to conquer every realm of her life. She was unmoving, in a state of shock apparently. He checked her pulse. She was breathing. He stared into those dead lifeless eyes and saw nothing. The pain of last night, the fear when he had abducted her was all gone. All that remained was a lifeless mass of grey. Those smiling eyes had disappeared. He had done this to her. He was this strong. This powerful. Everything about her that had haunted his dreams was gone. All that remained was a mere tranquility. She was breathing softly, for a while he only looked at her, his eyes moving with her stomach as she inhaled life and exhaled bereavement. She was beautiful. Everything about her, her walk, her talk, her laugh, her smile was perfect. He had to have her. But he didn’t want this. He had wanted the girl in the alley that night. The girl with those smiling eyes, that broken front tooth, those long slender fingers, those shapely legs. How could this have happened? He had killed what he had admired. She did not deserve it and neither did he deserve her. There was a knock on the door. It was Krillin, his right hand man.

“Exhausted aye?”

“No I was just admiring her beauty.”

“Ha acceptable. Every man loves a naked woman. I get a feeling in my genitals just looking at her.”

“You should know you wouldn’t have her.”

“Oh she is yours senor`. I am just a driver. ” saying this he bowed out and smiled.

His position was in danger. She wasn’t important. He had been seen with her now. He looked into the mirror and realized how dark it was. The dim greys of the night had enveloped the cream walls to give a blend of brown as dull as the morning sky without the sun. She wasn’t bound. He had not wanted to destroy that beautiful body. He had never wanted to annihilate her in the way he already had. He had always achieved what he had desired, taken without grant what he deserved and he wouldn’t stop now. He climbed the table. Once again he was captivated by the eyes, he couldn’t keep from looking. He couldn’t resist the serenity they shrouded to his life like the clouds to the earth. He kissed her on the lips. She did not flinch. She did not move. She did not blink. She did not take a heavy breath. She just existed. Even after all he had done, they tasted sweet. They were soft, a little dry and mushy. He kissed her on the eyes. On the nose. On the ears. Kissed those fingers. He wanted her to love him like all the other women in his life. She couldn’t. She wouldn’t. He slowly, excruciatingly, longingly made love to her. He raped her.

The next morning dawned cloudy. The gods had anticipated well. It was gonna rain. He stepped out into the wind and closed his eyes. He had thought about it all night. He had been wrong. With the one card he had left, he would go for the kill. A single tear glided down his juvenile face and fell to the ground. It reminded him of himself. Alone. Lonely. He went inside. She was still there rooted on the table, eyes closed, unconscious. He clothed her with what he had and took out his dagger and waited. She was awake now. He showed it to her and put it in her right pocket. She passed out. If he died and she wished to protect herself…He picked her up and took her outside to his car. He was about to drive out when Krillin showed up. Senor I am afraid I am gonna have to stop you. I am your boss. Go. Tell them you saw nothing. No senor, stop what you are doing. Krillin, I request you. Leave now and we will remain friends till both of us live. Senor, you broke my friendship the moment you decided to go against the law. I made them Krillin. You are not above them. I am gonna…he couldn’t complete the sentence; there was a bullet in his head. As it is he knew what he was going to say. He drove through the gates as if nothing had happened. A few miles on, he trashed the car and burnt it. He stole a truck, settled her in the back and drove west heading out of Russia. He stopped at a gas pump to refuel. There was a supermarket nearby. She would be hungry. She hadn’t had proper food in a week. He bought as much as could be required and headed back. He opened the back door and went close to her. Here I brought you food. She was sitting up, trying to cover herself with the blanket that had been lying there. He took another step closer, bent down and put his hand on her shoulder. In the blink of an eye shining metal pierced his heart dragging the life out of him.